Since swapping out Waking Up with The Way for my meditation practice, I’ve enjoyed meditating so much more. I didn’t realize how badly I needed to hear a radically different approach to how to meditate, an approach that feels a lot closer to how I understood meditation when studying it for the first time almost 8 years ago.
Henry Shukman, the voice and creator of The Way and Sanbo Zen master, emphasizes undoing the notion of trying to meditate. Even if Sam Harris, creator of Waking Up addresses this too, there are undertones from the guided meditation in Waking Up that suggest one is performing or training during meditation.
Henry’s approach is the opposite and is therefore refreshing, but also feels deeply more accurate for what I’ve learned the ethos of Buddhist meditation to be. I’m only 20 days in, but he’s brought up a few times now, “you don’t need to perform” or “there’s no correct way to show up” (totally paraphrasing).
The concept that drives this philosophy I think is relaxation. Henry consistently tells us to relax, first focusing on the physical sensations as a way to relax, but then transferring this skill to mentally letting our guard down and to stop trying so hard when it’s not necessary (like during a meditation session).
I didn’t know how badly I needed to relearn how to relax until shifting my meditation practice to The Way with Henry. But he doesn’t just guide you to chill, he’s a lot more crafty and skilled than that obviously. What he brings us closer to is more so an active form of relaxing, where you are softened while simultaneously very awake or aware.
If the brain is seen as a muscle, how can it possibly continue to serve us if it stays flexed? It would need time to rest and recover to continue to function at 100%.
If the brain is seen as a river, how can we see clearly through the water if it stays rapid? It would need to expand by loosening up so that flowing ideas and emotions become calmer and clearer to see.
This is all achieved through active relaxation.
For me, actively relaxing looks like not being driven by any external factors, whether it’s external validation or being attached to goals set by myself yet exist outside of myself. And instead, me being the one who dictates the deadlines and objectives (distance and direction) through internal creative pulls and personal priorities.
From experience, it feels like a prerequisite for me to actively relax is getting good at being self-assured, or quietly confident in the way I’m leading my life. I can be at ease when I’m in that space while remaining in action to do things that matter to me.
